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Theology of Seekers:
For Family Members Who Want To Help:
Needs In Recovery Of Family Members
Alcoholic Needs:
Seekers Is :
1. A. Christ centered
program.
2 We give information on the physical,
mental,
and emotional affects of your separation
from God.
A. We show
films
B. We provide reading materials
C. We give lectures
3. We educate people in;
A. Communication
B. Problem solving
C. Self-esteem
D. The results of addictive behavior and
co-dependency
4. We use the Bible as our foundation for
truth
in recovery.
5. Group discussion, which allows people to
share with each other and find answers that
will work for them.
Theology of
Seekers (back)
Recommended Scriptures for Study and
Memorization
(Read like a story)
Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the
pattern of this world, but be transformed by
the renewing of your mind. Then you will be
able to test and approve what God's will
is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Gal 5:17 For the sinful nature desires what
is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit
what is contrary to the sinful nature. They
are in conflict with each other, so that you
do not do what you want.
Romans 7:17 As it is, it is no longer I
myself who do it, but it is sin living in
me.
Romans 7:18 I know that nothing good lives
in me, that is, in sinful nature. For I have
the desire to do what is good, but I cannot
carry it out.
Gal 5:18 But if you are led by the Spirit,
you are not under law.
John 1:12 Yet to all who received him, to
those who believed in his name, he gave the
right to become children of God—
Eph 2:8 For it is by grace you have been
saved, through faith— and this not from
yourselves, it is the gift of God—
Eph 2:9 Not of works, so that no one can
boast.
Romans 6:19 I put this in human terms
because you are weak in your natural selves.
Just as you used to offer the parts of your
body in slavery to impurity to
ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer
them in slavery to righteousness leading to
holiness.
1 Cor 1:20 Where is the wise man? Where is
the scholar? Where is the philosopher of
this age? Has not God made foolish the
wisdom of the world?
1 Pet 2:5 You also, like living stones, are
being built into a spiritual house to be a
holy priesthood, offering spiritual
sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus
Christ.
1 Pet 1:14 As obedient children, do not
conform to the evil desires
you had when you lived in ignorance.
2 Cor 10:2 1 beg you that when I come I may
not have to be as bold
as I expect to be toward some people who
think that we live by the
standards of this world.
1 John 2:15 Do not love the world or
anything in the world. If anyone loves the
world, the love of the Father is not in him.
Eph 4:23 to be made new in the attitude of
your minds;
1 Cor 6:20 you were bought at a price.
Therefore honor God with your body.
Romans 6:13 Do not offer the parts of your
body to sin, as instruments of wickedness,
but rather offer yourselves to God, as those
who have been brought from death to life;
and offer the parts of your body to him as
instruments of righteousness.
Romans 6:14 For sin shall not be your
master, because you are not under law, but
under grace.
1 Thes 5:16 Be joyful always;
1 Thes 5:17 Pray continually;
1 Thes 5:18 Give thanks in all
circumstances, for this is God's will for
you in Christ Jesus.
For Family Members Who Want To Help
(back)
Begin With Self (by: Sandy Mast)
The place to begin in helping an affected
person to freedom is with self. Learn all
you can. Put it into practice, not just
words. This will be far more effective than
anything you attempt to do for him/her.
There are several Rules of Thumb which may
be observed:
1.Learn all the facts and put them to work
in your own life.
Don't start with the affected person.
2.Attend self-help meetings
3.Remember that you are emotionally
involved. Changing your
attitude and approach to the problem can speed their way to
freedom.
4.Encourage all beneficial activities of the
affected person and cooperate in making
them
possible.
5.Learn that love cannot exist without
compassion, discipline
and justice, and to accept it or give it without these
qualities is to destroy it eventually.
It is easier to find a list of don'ts in
dealing with the affected person, for it is
easier to understand why you fail, than to
know why you succeed. The following list is
not inclusive, but it makes a good
beginning.
1. Don't allow the affected person to lie to
you and accept it as the truth, for in so
doing you encourage this process. The truth is
often painful, but get at it.
2. Don't let the affected person exploit you
or take advantage of you, for in so doing;
you become an accomplice in the evasion of
responsibility.
3. Don't let the affected person outsmart
you, for this teaches
him/her to avoid responsibility and lose
respect towards you
at the same time.
4. Don't lecture, moralize, scold, praise,
blame, threaten or
argue when drunk or sober, or pour out
liquor. You may feel
better, but the situation will be worse.
5. Don't accept promises, for this is just a
method of
postponing pain. In the same way, don't keep
switching
arguments. If an agreement is made, stick to
it.
6. Don't allow your anxiety to compel you to
do what the affected person must do for
himself.
7. Don't cover up or abort the consequences
of drinking or using. This reduces the
crises but perpetuates the illness.
8. Don't try to follow this as a rule book.
It is simply
a "guide" to be used with intelligence and
evaluation.
If at all possible, seek good professional
help. You
need it as well as the affected person.
9. Above all, don't put off facing the
reality that
addictive behavior is progressive. It will
get
increasingly worse as involvement continues.
START NOW to learn, to understand and to
plan for their freedom. To do nothing is the
worst choice you can make.
Needs In Recovery Of Family Members
(back)
Alcoholic Needs:
1. To get out of their head; i.e. stop
intellectualizing
2. To develop awareness of how others feel
3. To become flexible
4. To work through problems
5. To express anger without blaming
STRENGTHS: Heightened awareness, gutsy,
sensitivity to pain, empathy.
CHIEF ENABLER NEEDS:
1. To let go of responsibility
2. To get in touch with feelings
3. To re-focus on self (wants and needs)
4. To become aware of self-responsibility
and let others
do the same.
STRENGTHS: Nurturing, giving and loving.
FAMILY HERO NEEDS:
1. To learn to ask for and take what he
needs
2. To learn to accept failure
3. To let down, relax and Be
4. To focus on self-stop "Fixing" family
STRENGTHS: Hard workers, know how to get
what they want.
FAMILY SCAPEGOAT NEEDS:
1. To get through to the hurt
2. To learn to negotiate rather than rebel
STRENGTHS: Can see reality, has good
insight, sensitive and
courageous.
LOST CHILD NEEDS:
1. To reach out
2. To deal with loneliness
3. To face pain
4. To make new close relationships
STRENGTHS: Patient, creative, independent.
MASCOT NEEDS:
1. To take responsibility
2. Risk being serious
3. To be assertive
STRENGTHS: Humor, knows how to enjoy
himself/herself.
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